Secret Fantasies Read online

  Maybe she should ask guidance from her aunts. She felt a moment’s warmth and love as she thought of the two women, priestesses of an ancient temple. The closest thing to family she had were her dead mother’s two sisters. Very early on Phoebe had known that was not the life for her, and although her aunts were the only family she had, she could not be with them as they wished her to be. And so she had left.

  As she started to jog back to her own lodgings, the restless, itchy sensation returned, only far, far worse this time. Maybe it was time she paid her aunts one of her short visits?

  Since she was family, she was allowed in the temple, but usually as soon as her brief viewing with her aunts ended, she was driven crazy inside the temple, and simply had to leave.

  Even as she decided this, Phoebe squashed the strong sensation she was heading in the wrong direction. Michael had his own path to travel, and although a small voice in the back of her mind insisted she was a part of that path, Phoebe knew it would be foolish to assume such a thing.

  She had her work to do. More importantly, Michael had his own quest. She would give him the time and space she felt he needed, and then they could pick up from there. A few weeks here or there would not make any sort of major difference in either of their lives, no matter how certain she had been earlier in the morning.

  Phoebe ran faster, stretching her legs and pushing her body. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

  Chapter Three

  Later the following day

  Gavreel Montague’s study, the back of The Book Nook

  Vasili looked over to the other side of Gavreel’s study and frowned at one of his oldest buddies. Michael generally was the most laid-back of vampires. Sure, he had his mysterious, sensible side, but unlike Simeon, Michael’s younger brother, he rarely fretted or worried.

  Today, however, the usually unflappable elder vampire seemed to be gnawing on something big. Gavreel hadn’t been heard from for close to three months now, but Michael had only been acting oddly since this very morning.

  Gavreel was an elder vampire, and the sire of Michael, Simeon and Rylan Montague. He had been taking care of himself for many centuries—it was unlikely he had suffered disaster now. While Simeon tended to fret, Michael and Rylan rarely followed suit and since Vasili had known all the Montague men for a number of decades now, he knew how out of the ordinary this behavior was for Michael.

  Besides, Vasili’s rampant curiosity could almost smell an intriguing, juicy story behind Michael’s moodiness. Vasili wondered if it was about a woman, but just hadn’t yet figured the right approach to take with his buddy.

  They were both situated in Gav’s study, looking for any indication on what Gavreel might have been following in his academic studies. While Vasili still didn’t really feel any true concern for Gav, nearly three months with no contact was unusual, even for him.

  Vasili paused. He knew Michael hadn’t been acting so strangely the last few days. Only today. And so the logical conclusion from that would be that something had happened to him over the course of the previous evening.

  “You doing okay, mate?” Vasili asked in what he hoped was a casual voice. Now he had something to aim for in his conversation with Michael, he wouldn’t let his good friend brush him off and shut him up.

  All throughout the day, Michael had been communicating through monosyllables, grunts and expletives as conversation, and Vasili had backed off, not understanding nor wanting to upset his good mate. But after endless hours of such “conversation”, Vasili had had enough and wanted a few answers. Particularly when it made so much sense that the overnight change in Mike’s attitude meant something had happened.

  Asking outright would likely get him nothing more than another “shut the fuck up”, or at worst Mike might try and take a swing at him. And so Vasili decided to try to be subtle for once in his life.

  Vasili, in what he hoped was a casual manner, picked up yet another file—a circular disk with a zillion holo-notes by Gav. As the silence from Michael lengthened, Vasili frowned. There were so many files, folders and academic crap littering the place, he had begun to truly think this search was a completely hopeless task.

  As they had no idea which particular project Gav had been working on, the chances of them stumbling across a remind-it note to himself saying “Remember to go to Gactafica in the next few weeks” and having a recent date on it were slim to none.

  “Huh?” Michael finally replied vaguely. “Oh, no, I haven’t found anything yet.”

  Vasili dropped the file he really should have started to look through and crossed his arms over his chest. Subtlety was one thing, but it seemed to be currently lost on his friend.

  “Okay mate,” he said shortly, his patience at an end, “sit the five hells down and spill whatever it is that happened last night that’s bugging you.”

  At his harsher tone of voice, Michael looked up again, and saw the set expression on his face. When Michael sighed and set down the documents he had been pretending to sift through, Vasili felt his spirits lift and hoped they could sort out whatever bugged Michael fairly easily.

  “I met the most amazing woman last night,” Michael started slowly and carefully, enunciating each word perfectly as if he had been thinking his speech out earlier.

  Despite himself, Vasili felt his stomach lurch. It wasn’t the full realization that Michael had found a woman, but more the fact he suddenly had a vivid mental picture of all three Montague brothers being happily completed, their souls perfectly joined to their respective women, and he, cold and alone, standing on the outside looking in and watching them.

  Vasili shook his head, mentally slapped himself and berated his childish behavior. He had a brilliant life, and could pretty much have any woman he desired. So where had that pang of jealousy and loneliness come from?

  Simeon and Rylan, Michael’s younger twin brothers, had both entered their respective heat phases and met the women of their dreams, practically simultaneously. As vampiric twins were almost unheard of, the identical genetic and physiological actions both Michael and Vasili had hypothesized about and discussed seemed to make sense.

  Once roughly every thousand moon phases or so, a vampire entered what was commonly referred to in vampiric circles as their “heat phase”.

  A vampire’s heat phase was when an individual vampire’s genetics sequenced them into a fertile period. During this short period of time if the vampire met—or already knew—a woman compatible with his unique physiology, they could procreate, and thus a little vampire would be brought forth into the galaxy.

  As vampires were virtually immortal, the universe and genetics had conspired to make them infertile for the vast majority of their lives, so the entire galaxy and potentially beyond would not be inundated with a plethora of vampires, intent on conquering the known worlds.

  Yet vampires were still a species and race, and they needed to procreate. And so, during their heat phase any vampire, if he or she found the right partner, could sire children.

  On top of this, the woman a man could be fertile with was generally held to be able to also complete his Soul’s Circle. A vampire did not have to be in heat to fulfill the vampiric ritual of merging their two souls—both parties exchanged their missing pieces, creating a whole.

  Vasili mulled for a moment over his own existence. Sure, he could feel the faint pang of loneliness, always knew just below his own surface was a missing piece of his soul. But he had friends, a scattered relative or two around the galaxy and generally enjoyed his life to the fullest.

  Yet when he was honest with himself, he knew there was always that part of him that was missing, that yearning for a completely rounded and more fulfilling existence.

  Vasili smiled wryly, privately acknowledging no woman he had met would offer him parts of her soul, which he would then be able to fuse to his own. He then in return would offer the woman his own soul, which he could fuse to hers. But the fact still remained, even if he had met a woman that special,
he had yet to meet anyone who would open herself that deeply to him.

  To Vasili’s mind the ritual was completely fair—both parties completed their souls and had their own intact. The bond created between the two people could never be broken, and Vasili had heard it was an exceedingly intimate connection. Yet he couldn’t help the pang of sadness that washed through him as he realized he knew of no such woman who would do this with him.

  Vasili shrugged to himself. To his knowledge, he didn’t even currently know of a woman who was compatible with himself, not that he had tried penetrating women’s minds very much of late.

  When Simeon and now Rylan both found their respective women, Vasili and Michael were ecstatic at them both finding their women and completing themselves. Yet Vasili knew he felt slightly bereft. In the last few days, he had been feeling his incompleteness more and more, a dragging sense that soon, as Michael too entered into his heat phase, the last of his closest friends would find that special, particular woman.

  Vasili shivered slightly as he realized in many respects he would be left out in the cold, no matter how close his friendships with the Montague men were, and no matter how truly happy he was for his friends.

  Idiot, he chastised himself sternly. Michael is just stuck on a woman. He, Si and Ry are your best friends. Don’t be such a dumbass and feel left out, just deal with it.

  Although his personal pep talk helped, Vasili knew there wasn’t really any sense in trying to convince himself otherwise. For over two hundred years now he had run around with the Montague men—it was incredibly hard to feel alone or lonely when one had three great friends with whom to pass the time.

  Vasili had a strong flash of intuition that Michael, the last Montague bachelor brother, was as good as completed.

  “Amazing woman, huh?” he said carefully, wishing his jealousy would shrivel and die. Was he really so petty he couldn’t feel joy and happiness for his friend? Vasili frowned, unused to such conflicting emotions. How could one feel happy for one’s friend, and simultaneously feel jealous and sad?

  Vasili sat down on one of the comfy chairs and watched, amazed, as Michael started gesticulating with his hands and talked quickly with a decisiveness that proved he had indeed been mulling this over throughout the day and ordering his words and thoughts.

  “Her name is Phoebe,” he said calmly, but with a catch in his voice.

  Vasili nodded, amazed Michael didn’t even pause for breath or to see if he was paying attention.

  “I met her last night while I was out walking in the recpark. Vas, mate, it was the most bizarre thing. I just could not sleep no matter what I tried. I’m sure it was partly because of Gav, but my mind was also trying to come to terms with Rylan and Ruthie astounding me by completing each other’s Soul Circle!”

  Vasili watched as Michael looked down at him, and he nodded, not truly surprised. Rylan and Ruthie had been sniffing around each other and playing hard to get for months, if not years. While surprised they had finally managed to get their act together, Vasili felt no real surprise the two hotheads had managed to make a go of their relationship.

  “I mean,” Michael continued without even pausing for breath, “the thought boggles the mind! I felt certain those two hated each other, or at least, I felt fairly certain Ruthie hated Rylan. Has the galaxy gone utterly mad?”

  Vasili merely raised an eyebrow at Michael’s rhetorical question, but felt a smattering of surprise the eldest brother hadn’t noticed that while Ruthie always spat fire at Rylan, she had never done him any real physical harm, which she was more than capable of doing. All their mutual bluster and heat and arguing had been a foil, covering their intense attraction.

  Vasili wondered for a moment how Michael could have never realized that. Maybe he had never taken the time to properly get to know Ruthie, Vasili mused. Michael obviously knew Rylan had been stuck on the fiery Investigator, but had simply not realized that all the loud noises from Ruthie had also been camouflage.

  Vasili smirked, wondered if part of Michael’s shocked outrage was surprise at himself for not catching on quickly enough.

  “I mean, look at how much this galaxy had been driven insane! Gav is out junketing around the solar systems with Chandra, Rylan and Ruthie fusing their souls, for the sake of the Goddess! Simeon and Clare I can understand as a fate thing, they seem made for each other, but everything else…

  Vasili smiled wryly at his friend as he took a deep breath and continued on, barely a pause for Vasili to stick his own opinions in—even if he had wanted to. He held his own council, however, feeling this was all coming to a climax, which would be the root of the real issue facing his friend.

  “And so there I was, wandering around the recpark with a million things on my mind, trying to sort all this bizarre behavior out, when I stopped near the lake. I have no idea whatsoever why I did or even what made me do it. But I stopped, and just waited.”

  Vasili raised an eyebrow, and Michael caught his silent query. His friend nodded, continuing more slowly and calmly.

  “I know, mate, that’s exactly what it was like. I was waiting for something there against that tree, with the moon and stars and the lake shining darkly. I had absolutely no understanding and no idea why I was there or even why I felt like I needed to wait! And a few minutes later, when I started to think maybe I was losing brain cells too, this absolute vision started running down the track.”

  Vasili felt himself drawn into the memory Michael shared with him unconsciously. It was dark, the calm, peaceful dark of the very late evening, or early morning. The moon shone sporadically, lighting and creating shadows, which managed to conceal much between the trees.

  Vasili recognized the recpark, and looked around the memory, until he noticed a tall, slim woman who ran toward him/them, her long blonde ponytail swinging. Vasili, as Michael, first noticed her eyes—a dark, entrancing purple.

  “Goddess,” Michael’s voice cut through Vasili’s mental image, and he was brought back into the present. “I still get hard just seeing her in my mind.”

  Vasili nodded, but didn’t say anything. The woman, Phoebe, had certainly been beautiful, but Vasili wondered at his own, much calmer, reaction to her in comparison to Michael.

  Would he have responded more if he had been there? Somehow he doubted it, and wondered why he didn’t think he would have. He shifted his concentration back to his friend as Michael continued, running a hand agitatedly through his hair.

  “We introduced ourselves, and then headed back to the lodging. It all seemed so natural, destined if you’ll excuse the arrogance of such a claim. We made love for hours. I felt the beginnings of my heat stirring, yet it seems different this time. I thought I was just getting old, I assumed I was gaining more control over my heat phase. We fell asleep close to dawn…”

  Vasili watched his friend’s face closely as his words petered out and he made a scrunched up face at himself and let a hand slap his thigh hard. Vasili had a feeling they were at the crux of the matter. When Michael continued to speak, he knew his guess had been right.

  “Or I thought she fell asleep too. I really don’t know. We were both so exhausted after that last bout. All I know is I woke up alone—cold and alone in my bed. She left a paltry holo-note, but that’s beside the point. She just up and left sometime while I was asleep.”

  Vasili shifted slightly in his seat. He didn’t exactly feel uncomfortable, and he couldn’t really explain his reaction, but although he still felt slightly jealous that Michael had obviously met the woman he would complete his soul’s circle with, a shaft of pity managed to flash through him.

  Michael was gone. The poor bastard didn’t even know it yet, but Vasili knew it with more certainty than he knew his own name. He could hear it in Michael’s tone of voice. The obvious agitation he felt at the simple act of this one woman leaving. If he didn’t feel absolutely certain Michael would bash him in the face, he’d laugh his ass off. Five hells, he might laugh himself sick anyway!

  Cr
acking a wide grin, Vasili decided to throw his mate a lifeline.

  “I know you, Mike,” he started easily, his huge grin almost acting like a red flag in front of Michael. He continued offering his olive branch anyway. “You would have wrung information out of her even while screwing madly. Surely this isn’t as bleak as you’re painting it?”

  Vasili felt shock rush through him as Michael turned on him, angry sparks lighting his dark blue eyes.

  “Dammit, Vas, it was more than just screwing.”

  Despite himself, Vasili felt his eyebrows rise high. Michael ignored his laughing, his humor, even his teasing, and honed in on the fact he had described their night of passion as “screwing?” Damn, Mike must be even more deeply in love than even he realized.

  “I know it sounds sappy,” Michael continued, his temper, as always, burning free before it had even really begun. “I feel like the most juvenile of lovesick girls. But we made love, we didn’t simply have sex.”

  Vasili swallowed his smile, not wanting to taunt his buddy. He nodded, and solemnly agreed. Michael rolled his eyes and ran a hand over his face. Vasili allowed himself a smirk for just a moment, and then quickly wiped it from his face before Michael could see.

  He waited patiently, and sure enough in a minute Michael continued as if Vasili had verbally nudged him to continue.

  “Yeah, sure I got details. Her parents died when she was a small child, her aunts helped raise her. She left to become a model and from what I can gather was well known if not famous galaxy-wide, not that that surprised me in the slightest. She got out a few years ago and has been working as a freelance merc ever since.”

  Michael paused a moment, as if remembering the conversation. Vasili looked aside, not wanting to intrude on his private moment. He frowned, wondered if Mike would need a nudge toward the woman. A freelance merc was always of some use, and setting the two of them up wouldn’t be any hassle if it was indeed needed. Vasili looked back to his friend as he continued again as if he hadn’t even paused.